God has been teaching me so much about me; forcing me to look into my past and find him in it all, even the ugly. praise him. He has been teaching me about his forgiveness and am still learning to accept it.
His Mercy Remains.
Last night i was asking him how does it look to serve you, to live for you, where do i even begin... what a big question, a question that every christian struggles with. I am so sick of sitting myself on the sidelines watching my brothers and sister bring glory to His sweet name. Why can't I? Am I not good enough? are my sins worse than theirs? I am just a mess...
" Lies" He tells me. those are all lies formed by the enemy to keep me from bringing glory to His name. Aren't all things possible through him.
I ask God again- Lead me to a chapter where I can learn about the service to you.
" James" he says. I laugh instantly when I read the intro. because God is slapping me smack in the center, no hidden meaning, plain as day there it is. ( read the intro into James, better yet-- read James)
Going to bed last night was hard. God is sparking something in my heart. " I have something bigger for you" he says. I instantly feel uncomfortable and excited at the same time. I want that. I thought I wanted the cookie cutter American life. ( not that God doesn't call some of us to that) I want His story of my life. I want the life that He has planned for me. In this moment I am married to Him and that Is enough for me. I need Him to fight my flesh each day and fight the lies that my heart tells me that he is not enough.
I finally understand the verse in psalms; He knows the desires of my heart.
He knows the desires of the heart he created.
