Boys,Boys...
I have always wanted to get married it has always been on my mind and I never thought that there was anything wrong with this...
Well God has shown me how much I put this desire before him and how I am not giving him this and will not trust him.
I want to so badly give this desire to him. I want to give Him my heart so that I may receive His.
Recently, I felt like God put this guy on my heart and my thoughts were consumed with this guy and it made me so happy, beautiful, important to get attention from this guy. Until, this guy that I thought God "put on my heart" got a girlfriend. I was heartbroken... I did not understand why God would allow me to hurt like this. My thoughts were rejected and i felt lost.
When praying and reading the word God showed me how much he loves me and how it hurts Him when I hurt.
I learned:
- God is protecting and guarding my heart, He had to teach me that I need to be satisfied in Him and not man. No man can ever fully satisfy me, only God can
- God needed to break me to get my attention and see what I was seeking and finding happiness in. I truly felt happy when I was getting attention form this guy...
- God showed me His heart and let me see that He is wanting my attention and when I am seeking other things, I am rejecting Him and that breaks His heart.
I want the cry of my heart to be to bring Him praise and nothing else. This is my prayer and I am so thankful that God is still working in me and that I am not complete yet!
I am so thankful that every time I fail Him I am caught in His grace and His mercy remains!
Later Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house. Many tax collectors and "sinners" came. They ate with Jesus and his disciples.
The Pharisees saw this. So they asked the disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
Jesus heard that. So he said, "Those who are healthy don't need a doctor. Sick people do. Go and learn what this means, 'I want mercy and not sacrifice.'—(Hosea 6:6) I have not come to get those who think they are right with God to follow me. I have come to get sinners to follow me."
Matthew 9:11-13
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Corinthians
I am back from N Africa and never thought I would be so sad in my life. In my time alone with the lord i was asking Why i was this sad and questioned if i should move there or strive to fully serve the lord here like I did in Africa... after many days of prayer the lord spoke to me:
He showed me how much i had fallen in love with Him, how much i fully depended on Him, how much I was in prayer, how He was always on my mind.
I came to terms that yes, God might want me to move there and serve and seek... yes, He may want me to live here and serve and seek... But HE WANTS ME TO SERVE AND SEEK.
I feel so completely in love with God because I would seek him and he reveled himself to me.
He broke my heart for what breaks His, He gave me His love to give to others, He showed me what I am placing before Him and what I am not trusting Him with.
This trip was hard because my prayer was break my heart for what breaks yours... and He did, but I am so thankful. I feel like I was ready to take my next step in faith but I could not do that until I gave God a fragment of my heart, so He would give me a slip of His.
During my time there I read 1and2 Corinthians and learned so much and how my heart was seeking other things and how God allows us to suffer through our struggles so we may learn through them. If every time we struggled and God took it away right away, how would we learn from it? We wouldn't we would fall back into it.
Even though it is hard and sucks, we must joyfully go through these trials and seek God and His wisdom. He will reveal it to us.
He showed me how much i had fallen in love with Him, how much i fully depended on Him, how much I was in prayer, how He was always on my mind.
I came to terms that yes, God might want me to move there and serve and seek... yes, He may want me to live here and serve and seek... But HE WANTS ME TO SERVE AND SEEK.
I feel so completely in love with God because I would seek him and he reveled himself to me.
He broke my heart for what breaks His, He gave me His love to give to others, He showed me what I am placing before Him and what I am not trusting Him with.
This trip was hard because my prayer was break my heart for what breaks yours... and He did, but I am so thankful. I feel like I was ready to take my next step in faith but I could not do that until I gave God a fragment of my heart, so He would give me a slip of His.
During my time there I read 1and2 Corinthians and learned so much and how my heart was seeking other things and how God allows us to suffer through our struggles so we may learn through them. If every time we struggled and God took it away right away, how would we learn from it? We wouldn't we would fall back into it.
Even though it is hard and sucks, we must joyfully go through these trials and seek God and His wisdom. He will reveal it to us.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Power
Yesterday...
- Earlier we had a team worship that God was totally a part of, his presence in the room was over whelming. God really focused us on 1 Corinthians about having love, which is funny because that has been where he has led me to read before coming here.
we got to go back to the church that we were invited to for the 3rd night. We even got to have the sermon translated for us which was amazing to hear the truth! The sermon was also based on 1 Corinthians's!!
I have never felt God's presence more than I have on this trip. He is using this team to encourage people and be a light to, BUT not by anything we are doing or saying God has just blessed this team with the opportunity for Him to speak through us.
I can not even begin to tell you how much God has done here and how huge He is moving.I am encouraged every second that I am here because I know I serve a God who is hearing,comforting,powerful,mighty,Just,and he has made that so much more real.
- Earlier we had a team worship that God was totally a part of, his presence in the room was over whelming. God really focused us on 1 Corinthians about having love, which is funny because that has been where he has led me to read before coming here.
we got to go back to the church that we were invited to for the 3rd night. We even got to have the sermon translated for us which was amazing to hear the truth! The sermon was also based on 1 Corinthians's!!
I have never felt God's presence more than I have on this trip. He is using this team to encourage people and be a light to, BUT not by anything we are doing or saying God has just blessed this team with the opportunity for Him to speak through us.
I can not even begin to tell you how much God has done here and how huge He is moving.I am encouraged every second that I am here because I know I serve a God who is hearing,comforting,powerful,mighty,Just,and he has made that so much more real.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Africa
We are here and seeing more than I would ever expect... I can not tell you How big and powerful God is here, it is so amazing. It just makes me realize how much I limit God in my life personally.
There are people attending churches and considering converting!
We go to widow churches and pray over the women, sing with them, show them certain stretches to help with their pain that may be prevented.
We go to underground churches and feel the presences of God so strongly it is amazing to be a part of. I am encouraged by the faith these people have and want to serve them with my all.
I got to share my testimony and asked God to speak through me and He was faithful and did that. I was so blessed to hear the preacher tell me that my story touched there hearts and I can only give God the credit. We have invited back and even though I can not understand what they are saying I leave there so filled. The holy spirit is there and its awesome.
More to come..
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