Oh the JoY!

Today I babysat this adorable 3yr old little girl! Just watching her and being with her and watching the simple things that made her smile took me back and got me to thinking...

We went for a walk and she told me ALL about her day, then she got too tired to walk back so I gave her a "piggy back ride" She was laughing so hard and wanted to do that all night:0.
Then I made her dinner and she said "I want to eat on the couch", this prob is not allowed but I let her anyways... We turned on Dora and watched it and she had the biggest smile on her face and kept looking at me saying"Thank you ms. Katie" It was totally worth breaking the rules:). I let her stay up a little bit later to finish the movie then put her to bed...

What happen to the times that I got so much joy out of simple small things in life? Am I too old lol? or do I expect too much? hmm...

Yah this blog was pointless but I just wanted to write about it!

for His glory

I have always been ashamed to tell my testimony and to truly look and dig down deep to where God has rescued me from... But that is just it, where GOD rescued me from.

I could never get up and walk away from the lifestyle i was living all alone.

I LOVED to party, that is what I was known for and I liked that attention.

I LOVED to drink and get wild and crazy and have no consequences.

I LOVED to smoke weed and cigarettes and get a second of having no worries.

I LOVED to get a high from doing cocaine and not look inside my life.

I LOVED to take pills to get away from my problems in my life.

I LOVED having meaningless "nights" with guys so I could feel empty and hate myself more.

Although I loved these things and always went to the next level so I could escape and hide from God, still there I was naked, covered in sin in front of him. Every time he tugged on my heart, the harder I tried to hide and get away from him. I searched for love in all these things and was angry with God that I was depressed and going through so much ALONE...

Why on earth would I walk away from that lifestyle that was mine and all that I knew and how people identified me with...

Well it took me having nothing, nobody completely falling on my face to realize that all I needed was Christ.

I was running away and as soon as I took His hand I fell in love. Everything that I LOVED and desired was gone and all the sudden I wanted to please this Loving God that Loves me even when I was covered in sin, he poured his blood on me and made me white as snow and made me HIS.

I look back and am amazed that he rescued me and still loved me and wanted me! How awesome that the God of the universe wanted my attention and wanted to spend time with me.

I just wanted to truly give God all the glory he deserves and more for the pits of my life that he rescued me from. That was a dark and scary place that I HATE looking back at but I know that God is going to use my testimony for his glory!

Listen to katiekaylynns Playlist

Today...

Today I feel a little bit of blah...
I have not had a quiet time in a while and normally I feel depressed and guilty but today I feel... nothing...
Is this a bad thing?
Am I too comfortable in this lifestyle?
Am i too far away?
I love the fact that i can just come to God on my face and repent of my sins... I have o so many, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and wonder how God could love me and how he could forgive me over and over and OVER...
But He does.
I love that we have such an amazing God that even though I feel I am so far away He never moves! Praise God!

it is on

Well... the past two weeks have been amazing! I felt and experienced God like never before and felt like was going great and God was moving all in me and I was craving for him and it was great!
Then...
Today was the worst day, one of those days that you think will never end and everything and everyone just makes you so mad. Will it ever end?
5 kids in my class had horrible diarrhea diapers and had to be sent home
1 kid pukes on me and him
I have to stay at work with puke in my hair
Parents mad at me when I have to send them home
I do not get my raise
got in a huge fight with my mom
Was discouraged by someone that I really looked up to and disagree by the way they are "encouraging" people.
Had to work 7a-6p cause noone would cover my class.

When I got home, God revealed to me how much satan hated how close God and I were getting!
I was taking the "next level" with God and satan saw that as a threat and hated it. I am thrilled to see that satan even notices that I am getting so close to God!
God is great, even through my bad days. When I have bad days I want to learn how to lean on God and not get caught up in the devils plan for me, which is to lash out at everyone and get mad at God.
I believe that God wants me to get in a deeper relationship with him,so he allows me to have bad days so I can turn to him and praise him for the good days that he gives me!

great meetings with a great friend

Tonight I had dinner with my lovely Erin! It was a random date but i enjoyed every bit! Oh how wonderful our King is!
After reading an Amazing blog about this 19yr old who gives her life to Jesus daily, makes me feel encouraged and a failure... we found ourselves saying...
Why can't we be like her?
We want her life.
I want to experience God like she does.
Then after a very great prayer God revealed so much...
I need to strive to be like Jesus.
I need to hunger for His presence in me daily.
I need to obey the Word and let God take control.
Even though I do not do as much as most of the believers, God still loves me just as much.
Even though I am covered in sin he still washes me clean!
I want to lay my life, desires, wants down for Christ but I will need God's guidance, peace and comfort.
That is all for tonight!