How to follow his call

This is a hard question that I ponder with frequently.
How do I know if this is what he wants? If so, when does he want this from me?
Recently, Abba spoke to be very bluntly about adoption. I can remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. I was at work, just fed Jonas and was cleaning off the table, when time literally stood still. I have always heard this expression before and never understood what it meant until now.
However, God was very clear that I need to start praying diligently that adoption would become legalized in Egypt; that my daughter awaits me there... its so hard for me to even wrap my mind around, but God created me and possibly created me for this child.
Timing is another issue i struggle with. After hearing and believing this, I want to jump on the next flight out and go and get my child, but how? I'm not ready? I'm not married. Will I be single forever?
...sigh
So, how? How do I follow his call. three years ago, I would have said to wait. Now, I say run. Run towards his calling, living in obedience and ask for the belief that he will lead me there. Although, I do believe God calls us to "wait" sometimes, but we should be actively seeking him, so run!  I would love to have children,although he thought of having them now puts me in a bit of a frenzy because clearly I feel I am just not ready. Must remind myself, His Will, His Timing.
It is so hard to not let the enemy rob this from me, in fact,  as i write this a million doubts fill my mind, but God keeps whispering his promises to me.
the reason for writing this is to keep it as a " journey" and as a possible reminder. I invite you to pray with me as I run towards everything that will bring Him glory.

His Mercy Remains

God has been teaching me so much about me; forcing me to look into my past and find him in it all, even the ugly. praise him. He has been teaching me about his forgiveness and am still learning to accept it.
His Mercy Remains.
Last night i was asking him how does it look to serve you, to live for you, where do i even begin... what a big question, a question that every christian struggles with. I am so sick of sitting myself on the sidelines watching my brothers and sister bring glory to His sweet name. Why can't I? Am I not good enough? are my sins worse than theirs? I am just a mess...
" Lies" He tells me. those are all lies formed by the enemy to keep me from bringing glory to His name. Aren't all things possible through him.
I ask God again- Lead me to a chapter where I can learn about the service to you.
" James" he says. I laugh  instantly when I read the intro. because God is slapping me smack in the center, no hidden meaning, plain as day there it is. ( read the intro into James, better yet-- read James)
Going to bed last night was hard. God is sparking something in my heart. " I have something bigger for you" he says. I instantly feel uncomfortable and excited at the same time. I want that. I thought I wanted the cookie cutter American life. ( not that God doesn't call some of us to that) I want His story of my life. I want the life that He has planned for me. In this moment I am married to Him and that Is enough for me. I need Him to fight my flesh each day and fight the lies that my heart tells me that he is not enough.
I finally understand the verse in psalms; He knows the desires of my heart.
He knows the desires of the heart he created.