Oh BOY

Boys,Boys...
I have always wanted to get married it has always been on my mind and I never thought that there was anything wrong with this...
Well God has shown me how much I put this desire before him and how I am not giving him this and will not trust him.
I want to so badly give this desire to him. I want to give Him my heart so that I may receive His.

Recently, I felt like God put this guy on my heart and my thoughts were consumed with this guy and it made me so happy, beautiful, important to get attention from this guy. Until, this guy that I thought God "put on my heart" got a girlfriend. I was heartbroken... I did not understand why God would allow me to hurt like this. My thoughts were rejected and i felt lost.
When praying and reading the word God showed me how much he loves me and how it hurts Him when I hurt.
I learned:
- God is protecting and guarding my heart, He had to teach me that I need to be satisfied in Him and not man. No man can ever fully satisfy me, only God can
- God needed to break me to get my attention and see what I was seeking and finding happiness in. I truly felt happy when I was getting attention form this guy...
- God showed me His heart and let me see that He is wanting my attention and when I am seeking other things, I am rejecting Him and that breaks His heart.

I want the cry of my heart to be to bring Him praise and nothing else. This is my prayer and I am so thankful that God is still working in me and that I am not complete yet!
I am so thankful that every time I fail Him I am caught in His grace and His mercy remains!

Later Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house. Many tax collectors and "sinners" came. They ate with Jesus and his disciples.
The Pharisees saw this. So they asked the disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
Jesus heard that. So he said, "Those who are healthy don't need a doctor. Sick people do. Go and learn what this means, 'I want mercy and not sacrifice.'—(Hosea 6:6) I have not come to get those who think they are right with God to follow me. I have come to get sinners to follow me."
Matthew 9:11-13