Corinthians

I am back from N Africa and never thought I would be so sad in my life. In my time alone with the lord i was asking Why i was this sad and questioned if i should move there or strive to fully serve the lord here like I did in Africa... after many days of prayer the lord spoke to me:

He showed me how much i had fallen in love with Him, how much i fully depended on Him, how much I was in prayer, how He was always on my mind.

I came to terms that yes, God might want me to move there and serve and seek... yes, He may want me to live here and serve and seek... But HE WANTS ME TO SERVE AND SEEK.
I feel so completely in love with God because I would seek him and he reveled himself to me.
He broke my heart for what breaks His, He gave me His love to give to others, He showed me what I am placing before Him and what I am not trusting Him with.

This trip was hard because my prayer was break my heart for what breaks yours... and He did, but I am so thankful. I feel like I was ready to take my next step in faith but I could not do that until I gave God a fragment of my heart, so He would give me a slip of His.

During my time there I read 1and2 Corinthians and learned so much and how my heart was seeking other things and how God allows us to suffer through our struggles so we may learn through them. If every time we struggled and God took it away right away, how would we learn from it? We wouldn't we would fall back into it.
Even though it is hard and sucks, we must joyfully go through these trials and seek God and His wisdom. He will reveal it to us.